I have what I'll call calendar-blindness. I'm constantly disoriented when it comes to dates. I miss birthdays, overlook appointments, and work events always seem to sneak up on me (like our two-day grief professional intensive, which, [checks calendar]—is somehow tomorrow).
But the anniversary of my mother's death is one date I always see coming. It happened at the peak of fall, and fall is an all-out sensory experience—the reminders are everywhere. These days, though, my anniversary-related grief is no longer tied to a single date. Over the years, a sad nostalgia has spread across the entire season. As I share in one of the articles below, I've come to think of fall as my grief season.
That wasn't always the case, though. In the early years, the date loomed large on my calendar. Like many, I hoped time would soften the sharp edges of grief, and in some ways, it did. But I also discovered a different kind of pain: realizing that with each passing year, the life I shared with my mother was being pulled further into the past.
Death anniversaries are complicated. For starters, what do we even call them? As we explain in another article, we've landed on "deathiversary," which, believe it or not, rolls off the tongue better than most alternatives. (But if you've got a better suggestion, feel free to let us know!)
So, in today's newsletter, we're sharing everything we've written about this complex experience, and inviting you to share your own tips, reflections, or traditions. We'll also announce our free webinar coming up in October.
Was this WYG grief support newsletter forwarded to you?
Everyday Love: The Death Anniversary Several Years Later
The anniversary of a loved one’s passing can still stir deep emotions, even years later. Grief changes, but the love we carry stays with us as we move forward.
Share your ideas for coping, connecting, and remembering on a loss anniversary.
How someone chooses to acknowledge the anniversary of a friend or family member's death is deeply personal. For those who feel lost or overwhelmed, it can be helpful to hear what has been healing or meaningful for others. They may not want to do exactly what someone else has done, but they can use these ideas as inspiration, or, at the very least, as a reminder that they are not alone in this experience.
If you have ideas for coping, connecting, or engaging in remembrance on this difficult day, please share them using the following anonymous Google form. In a week or two, we’ll compile the responses and share some of the tips with our newsletter audience.
All are invited to register for this free webinar as a part of the What's Your Grief Community Webinar Series:
New Awareness of Old Losses
Old losses can show up in surprising ways when life shifts—through milestones, anniversaries, or even new grief that stirs up memories of earlier ones. You may suddenly find yourself revisiting emotions you thought were long settled, or discovering layers of loss you didn’t know were there. In this webinar, we’ll talk about how grief evolves over time and why certain moments bring old losses into sharper focus. We’ll explore what it means to carry grief across years or decades, and how to make sense of the new insights, emotions, and challenges that can surface. Whether you’re reflecting on your own experience or supporting others, this session will provide perspective, validation, and strategies for navigating the ongoing presence of past losses. October 22nd @ 8pm ET
Dear Reader, Today, I'm thinking about change as I watch fall slowly take over the view outside my window. My mother died in October, so I'm afraid I can never be happy to see fall coming. Sure, it's beautiful, but it's also a season where things wither and die. That parallel is hard to overcome. Much of the time, change is gradual, like the shifting of the seasons. The temperature drops by degrees. The sunsets grow earlier by the minute. The colors shift by shades. You barely notice it as...
Dear Grief Friend, We have a lot to share today, so we won't waste time with a meandering intro. Today is the second of May, so we want to share resources for Mother's Day. However, we also want to share a few items for those who don't feel impacted by Mother's Day or who already feel burnt out thinking about it. The game plan is this ➡️ we'll share our Mother's Day content in the second half of this email. In the first half, we have a few things from around the web we want to share, and...
Dear Grief-Friend, One of our favorite quotes here at WYG is from Henry Havelock Ellis, who said, "All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on." This quote emphasizes the holding of two seemingly contradictory truths (i.e., dialectical thinking), which often seems necessary in life after loss. Yes, it's often essential to live in the present moment and find ways to let go of, or at least make peace with, specific thoughts and feelings about the past. But when...